Mourning

I have to admit that I've been having a hard time dealing with the changes in my growing body. So, I've decided that I should just mourn over the youthful body that I am losing. Yes, it sounds silly, but it's true. I am fully aware that this is a trivial matter.

A few nights ago, Eric 'caught' me looking at old pictures of myself from college and earlier New York days. He asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was looking at old pictures because I was sad about how big I've become, and how much bigger I'm going to get. He reminded me that this is all for a good cause, which I completely recognize and am happy about. And yet, I can't help but feel sad for what I'm losing.

I use to be thin without even trying, but I think I'm going to have to start working for it after the baby is born. From everything I've read, most women do lose the baby weight within a year of giving birth, but their bodies never return to the way they were before. True, some women look amazing after having children, maybe even better than they did before, but their bodies will never be exactly the same again.

So, I think it's time for me to mourn. I think it's ok to do that.